My Life In Words

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

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sshhh,i bought a christmas gift for my dd-a dress up outfit with heels and girly stuff! she needs it in this house of boys!!

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erika to daddy: how come you didn’t give isaak your booby today? he wanted your milk!

hmmm

the other day i overheard this coming from lukas(5) and directed towards erika(3)……

erika,you don’t seem to understand! i am older than you. that means you HAVE to respect me,do you get it now???

omg i couldn’t stop laughing! poor lukas!! erika just looked at him as she walked away continuing about her business.

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erika loves to rub my belly and talk about how she is going to hold her baby over her shoulder and pat his back ‘when he comes out’. every day she asks if he is coming out!! lol

tonight she rubbed all over my belly and tickled it telling me she was making the baby giggle in my tummy. then she leaned in and gave my belly a kiss while saying-i love you baby!!

then she points to my belly button and says-that’s how the baby got in there mommy! you see him? he is right in there!!

she REALLY wants to change his diapers too! lmao. and to be honest-she is good at it!! lol all her dolls and stuffed animals wear either a diaper or pull up-perfectly applied!

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ran across this while investigating toxic house plants,thought it was cute.maybe you will too!

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, “You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know.” The cat thinks for a moment and says, “Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor.” The Lord stops the cat and says, “Say no more,” and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again, there is the Lord there to greet them with the same offer. The mice answer, “All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we’re tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don’t have to run anymore?” The Lord says, “Say no more,” and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, “How are things since you got here?”

The cat stretches and yawns and replies, “It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those ‘Meals On Wheels’ you’ve been sending by are the best!”

back in march(my 3rd grader) jakobs school sent home order forms for mothers day cakes. you pre paid for them if you wanted your kid to decorate them for mothers day and part of the cost went directly to the school.

so i paid for two and reminded him one was for me and one for my mom(his nana). so friday the bakery people from publix were at school to help the kids decorate the cakes…. cute 8 inch heart shaped cakes with pink frosting piping.

so he comes home and right away apologizes. and i’m like what happened? and he said i sort of dropped your cake,but there’s a note on top for you. so i look at the note that he had written and taped to the once upside down cake…..it went something like this:

sometimes we have to go to other classrooms during the day and today i got bumped in the hallway. the cake fell to the ground and got pretty messed up.i’m sorry. PS- this one is yours mom!

omg i laughed so hard! i looked at him and said and why can’t this one be for nana? it doesn’t have a name on it! he said because it’s yours!

 LMFAO! gotta love him! and it really was sweet of him to write me a note about what happened.hahahaha.

i’ll get pix of them tomorrow hopefully!

JAKOB- mom, who is older you or kerry?

ME- well,what do YOU think? who looks older?

JAKOB- sits quietly staring at me

ME- think carefully before you answer my darling son!

we both laughed so hard he never did answer the question.hmmm,probably just as well!! haha

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