My Life In Words

Archive for the ‘Pictures’ Category

so during one of my sleepless nights/early mornings today i tried out anew app with my cell phone while waiting for isaak to finish nursing.

i’d forgotten all about it til i just peeked at my sidebar and saw his gorgeous lil baby face staring back at me!! YAY it worked!!

i uploaded all the cell phone pix i have taken since getting my new cell to my smugmug site(which i’ve had 7yrs but have been VERY VERY bad with updating since becoming active with social networks)…so most of the pix are of my sweety nursing or sleeping right after nursing!! hah.

the lil things make me happy!! YAY for it working and being able to share the pix not just via text message!! 🙂

go take a peek…seeing how i’ve not posted photos of my newest blessing on my blog just yet…*blush*…but trust me if you are a friend on facebook you have already been drowning in them!! ❤

*edit-ok maybe not…lol just a few seem to have transferred.i will work on that later to get them all up there! 🙂 and see about getting them to facebook too…like i ned more there! hah!

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saturday i took all the kids to lakeland for a childrens festival at the kids hands on museum,a place we all really love! most of the activities were outside in the park across from the museum so we did that before going inside.

i kept my camera in my shorts pocket and i had the stroller with me too just in case one of the littles acted up and needed to be contained!lol

after we went inside i reached for my camera and realized it was GONE! my heart dropped and i panicked. MY CAMERA!! it can’t be,i can’t lose my camera! OMG! so i grabbed the kids up and we went back outside to the park to re trace our steps. i knew it had to have fallen out of my pocket when we sat a a table for lunch but it wasn’t there. so we started walking around the park and headed to the bounce house area. i was in the midst of reprimanding lukas who had no qualms about screaming and throwing a tantrum in front of hundreds of people. and really,i could care less if he tries it in public cause after 3(almost 4 kids) it doesn’t phase me-i will still reprimand/punish my children no matter the location and i’ll be damned if people staring will stop me. jakob got a clue a couple years ago,lukas has yet to catch on! haha.

so i didn’t notice at first but this couple were walking straight towards me and the guy has his hand stretched out in front of him holding something….yupper!! MY CAMERA! omg i stopped dead in my tracks and was speechless. he said they had been walking around looking for me and they knew it was mine because they reviewed the pix i had on there and recognized ‘the cute little girl with the barrettes in her hair’ -YAY. i could have kissed their feet i was so happy. i really thought it was gone for good. i guess i’ve lost faith in people lately but there is STILL good out there by golly,there really IS!!  i couldn’t thank them enough!!

so i think it was just my time for good things to come my way! i’ve been giving away a lot of items the past month on my website http://hyenacart.com/ASqueakyFoot/ , as RAK(random act of kindness) and to PIF(pay it forward). i truly think it paid off! what goes around came around for me when i really needed it. i just couldn’t stop thinking how lucky i was for the rest of that day.i was amazed at the couple,i mean they found it(near the table where i thought it was lost)and instead of just turning it in somewhere they sought me out by taking up THEIR time and walking around the festival trying to find me. luckily erika was in the stroller and easy to spot when they did see me. talk about being in the right spot at the right time!

whew!

as i sit here typing,my baby is in my playground(aka office)crying. she is nestled in a box lid with 2 inch high sides for stability and security.these are her final hours in this world.

i watched her come into this world in the hot month of june,1991. i was newly 18 years old,i will be 37 next month. spaz and her brother blue moon,along with a few more siblings were born that day. it was an amazing sight for my eyes. to see the wonder of nature,instinct and a mother cats love all work in sync-it is something i’ll never forget.we thought spaz was born dead,for she came out fully encased in the sac and not moving for minutes. little did we know that mama cat had it all under control. she began to eat away at the sticky membranes surrounding the kitten and forcefully nudging it all the while. once fully out,she licked the little ball of fur until it began breathing and moving. it was so incredible,(albeit gross at the time)to watch the process.

i chose spaz and blue moon as my own from the bunch.over the years i’ve had as many as 6 cats in my home at one time.my cats are my family.before i had children,they were all i had. i can’t tell you how many times my feline friends helped me out of depression and made me feel not quite so alone in the darkest moments of my life. i’d do anything for them! i passed up renting great places to live because i refused to give up my cats.i’ve had bills go unpaid because my cats well being came first.heck-i’m medically allergic to cats but yet even that can’t make me give them up.i’ve been the subject of ridicule with how much i have been willing to pay for the health of my cats,or for the medical maintenance we take on at home.currently,her brother recieves sub cutaneous fluids on a regular basis at home to help with his kidney disease/failure.

spaz has enriched my life so much and i will never forget her.she has kept watch over my newborn babies,she has curled up near my head on lonely nights,she has watched tv with me at all hours of the day,she has allowed little hands to pull her tail and poke her eyes and never once hissed,she has literally reached a paw out to me when i was crying,she would always grab my hand and bring it to her face if she wanted scratches in her special spots,she’s a great foot warmer and whenever i was pregnant,she loved to keep my belly warm.i’m a firm believer that cats know when their owner is pregnant.

she has been such a special part of my life for nearly 19 years! i may have made some mistakes,i may have ignored her during life transitions,or skipped a day or 2 cleaning the litter boxes,but her love has always been unconditional and never ending. i’ve always felt a special bond with my spaz. she would never grab other peoples hands and bring them to her face,it was something special between her and i only.

she was diagnosed with feline diabetes in the beginning of 2007.along with it came neuropathy.we started giving her twice daily insulin shots,and i’d keep an eye on her blood glucose levels at home using a lancet kit just like human diabetics use. some may have put down a cat with such an illness,but why i’ll never understand.we’ve gotten 3 more years with her by treating her illness.i would never discard my family member just because they are ill. it wasn’t a death sentence and is easily treatable. she deserved to be cared for to the best of our ability! granted,there were times she missed her shots and i’ll always have guilt over it,but no one is perfect.

i know deep in my heart her time is up.she has lived beyond the average lifespan of an indoor cat. her life has been a full one; full of lots of love too! but knowing this isn’t helping the pain in my heart.i have cried so much since december 30th when her health took a turn for the worse.i told myself  i’d give her a few days to be sure it wasn’t something she could bounce back from,like she did last march after seizing and only having 10% body hydration.but by saturday january 2nd,she showed no signs of improvement and in fact had gotten worse. she began crying and the neuropathy was in full force. i made a promise to myself and to her that monday is the day.

this weekend has been the longest in my life.on one hand i didn’t want it to end and on the other hand i wanted monday to hurry and get here.i just don’t want to give her up forever and ever.she is such a big part of my life. but i know she is suffering now and it is my duty to her to help end it.but it doesn’t make it any easier,not at all. my heart is still breaking for the both of us. i’ve never experienced the process of euthanasia before. i knew one day i may have to,but hoped mother nature would supercede such a time.

i spent a long time in the dark hours of the morning sunday quietly talking to spaz. i gently pet her in all her favorite spots and reminded her how much she is loved. i kissed her and whispered it was ok for her to go now,i would understand.i told her i was sorry for the times i was less than perfect,i thanked her for the love she has given me and for the gentleness she always showed the children.and again told her she could go now,to stop fighting and find peace. her cries are heart breaking,she is such a fighter.

she dragged herself in here a few minutes ago and tried to climb her doggy stairs to get in bed with me.so now she is lying next to me in her box lid,with her eyes barely open and her front paws keep twitching every few seconds.at this rate,i may not go to sleep and just get to the vet right when they open.it’s 545am,it just makes more sense. i don’t want to sleep with her like this.if i slept,it would delay it even longer.but i want to delay it. i want her.i don’t want her to leave me. i know that is selfish and it isn’t fair to her.i’m just going to miss her terribly.i didn’t think it would be this difficult.i’ve shed so many tears this weekend,it just won’t stop.

i love you spazzy! i hope you know how much you are loved and how much better life was with you a part of it. may you rest in peace,free from pain. may you smile as you cross over the rainbow bridge : http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…. 

Author unknown

 

2/09

february of 2009-spaz

10/09

october 09.spaz&blue moon were both very ill

we love you spaz

january 3rd,2010 her last day here on earth is january 4th ;(

 
 

 

 
 

erika got the disney store tink set as a christmas present from family friends last yr! all we need is a head pc,some white tights and probably green wings.i think a boo boo was made when the blue wings were chosen?

this was her first try on last week. she got it on,looked at me and exclaimed-mommy,look at me!i look pretty!! boy did she!!

lukas is using his light up cptn america from last yr.he loves it! adding the shield this yr too! jakob will be a really cool red and black ninja.

 

friends

erika is just 26 months old and she went poopy on her potty today for the first time(she’s peed twice,but never poopy lol! 🙂 it wasn’t just a coincidence either,she TOLD me she had to go poopy and walked over to the potty,sat down and did her thing!!! WOOHOO!! i am so proud of my baby girl!! girls definately get the hang of it sooner than boys(than my boys anyway,! lol).

now to see just how long she takes to become fully day trained! hoping this wasn’t just a fluke,i’m pretty confident it wasn’t!

 i totally believe it is healthiest to NOT push the child when it comes to using the potty,to just have it available and always talk about what goes in it and keep asking if she wants to use it and making a HUGE deal when she does sit on it-even if nothing happens. in the beginning she would get a sticker just for sitting on it,didn’t matter if she went or not. lol

wearing her first pair of trainer undies,and her present for going,dress up shoes.no,that’s not her tail!:

my big girl!!!

my big girl!!!

this is what happens when you leave your 22 month old daughter alone for a few minutes! lmao at least she left one in the bowl -without bites!!

i had to go test spaz’s blood glucose and give her an insulin shot.she keeps us on our toes!!!

apples

apples


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